Janis Joplin once sang, “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”
Rumi wrote, ..”Love and this is God.”
Love is all I’ve ever believed in.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.
I choose love. I choose freedom.
Now my own words are caught
Choked up between utter splendors of breathtaking joy
And shudders of anguish coming from a cavern so far inside
The cave of human aching and longing that this place
–it is nameless.
Thus my name is no one
I am nowhere.
Yet I feel I am all at once.
There is nowhere to go from here, yet-
There is limitless potential in all seen and unseen
as I am darkness who wishes for a candle that I know must exist.
How can the human heart catalyze in the midst-
Between radiation clouds and storms reeking of death
And the glorious splendor of Creation and all unknown?
Where is one to go from this place?
This time stamp of gravity, human degradation
Of both nowhere and foreverness?
I am the quivering drop of radiation that turns
Into living art, life, music….
As I am also each suffering heart
And I am that suffering transcended—
As THIS IS THE GAME.
To suffer without suffering
The burning in the heart for
Freedom, the crying out for
Justice in this forsaken world
IS the proof and answer of God.
How is such suffering bound to joy?
As the wounded are bound to the wound.
I do not see the stitch marks
Yet I felt them as I was stitched into this illusion
And scars do not lie…
But tell a story all their own.
Of wrapping Infinity and binding it within
Mortal flesh to suss out this whole situation.
Of creation exploring itself
The suffering is bound to the joy
By scars of love,
It is but for us to find
All the perceived suffering IS love
Maybe not yet revealed to us
Simply potentated darkness,
How can this ache be gOd?
This ache I feel is the answer to
My calling for gOd to end suffering
Through each of us that gOd does appear.
Yet we doubt!
We scoff that such narrow human longing …
Could be genuine fractals of gOd
Spinning through the Universe…through all that is…
into and through even us
We brush aside gOd everyday to search instead for the Illusion
To busy the self with ‘real life’ dishes, sorting and tasks which seem
Oh so important!
Where is the Dreamer this wanderer whispers?
The Dreamer lives on
In each of us—
Where we left him.
On a childhood creek bed…
Beneath the languid boughs of trees and space
The Dreamer casts webs into our dreams
Never giving up
Never packing up his gear to leave
In hopes that within the ripples we may awaken
((and dream of greater things))
gOd is present in these tears.
The Dreamer cries
for all who don’t dream along
gOd is present in all desperation
And these tree boughs reach up with
Natural uplifting joy
They bravely and without concern
Praise all Creation
Dancing with the wind as long known lovers
Effortlessly showing gOd to all
As I wish to do.
Yet this human condition has cast shadows
About everywhere in conscious reality
Leaving the brave fearful to love
And the loveless fearful of bravery
Be the humble host to love
Or even admit this aching longing.
“Take this longing from my tongue,
all the useless things my hands have done..”
My spirit—it raises to dance
In, amidst, and beyond moon beams
Dizzying reveries and dreams
Between the stars and lighting bolts
The ballet of the Unseen
The score of the Unspoken
Played out in a Universal
I bravely reside in between
Reveries and dreams
Casting my net for all Dreamers
To join me,
Each cut through this illusion
Brings closer another piece of gOd.
I realize each piece of oneself
Brought into this world
Eases the distortion
Of my aching human heart
Thus brings gOd to life,
Now–into this time-space.
I am shattered save for my calling
My narrow human longing
Mixed infinite space and stars
I am a beautifully shattered fractal of Creation itself.
gOd exists in ALL desperation
Even though hardly another soul believes
They are also potentated fractals of gOd.
It is between the heartbeats
And tattered breaths
The Cosmic Heartbeat does not
Extinguish with this mortal life
But beats on eternally
Can you feel it?
If I were naked in your presence now
Would you be moved to speak?
If I am dumb beside your body
It is because of this One I hear…
And as my soul IS …naked
Amongst these words
We are but offerings–Beloved
It is my soul that you put on
And walk out the door wearing
Never knowing that I cried in it
And my tear stains have dried,
yet changed the very fabric of this soul forever–
You’ll never know
I cried out to the Beloved
I cried out to Creation–to belong again.
It is your soul that I myself wear…
And move into the next moment with
Fresh new awareness
These moments they pluck
Out the heartstrings
Of immemorial prose.
Although my own heart
Long ago froze
In the frigid winters’ longing
it always comes…
Spring always comes!
although among the sheets of snow
one could never again imagine the rich blooms of spring
I am SURE God exists
How else could a heart so fragile
support billowing blossoms again…
by adding only Sun, and water?
Add Sun and water to the soil of my spirit
Creation knows what to do.
It is that simple for the aching heart as well
it is that simple
just add Sun and water to the soil of my heart
… and wait.
These words seem to me strangled
And flowing at once
How else could they matter at all?
Who would use them?
Who would need them?
The winged seraphs of Heaven have left me here
A tangled and twisted sepulcher of a poet
Trying only to breathe thru time…
To reach space
As the breath alone is the word of gOd.
With wisdom abound
Seemingly even I cannot reach
And hardly comprehend.
God is present in my stretching
To untangle the illusion thru the veil of this mind
If I were your most beloved
Would you bind me further or free me?
Others feed me as I have lost the will to eat.
Others bathe me as I have lost the will to move.
There is no one who comes to kiss me
((that detail has been overlooked))
or is not considered essential.
I am a beautifully lost and mysterious fractal
Who has lost the will to find you…
But there is no one who can come– able to free a frozen heart,
This must be done with caution and gOd.
God please add water and Sun,
I will wait.